Mother, My Friend
THE TEN MOST IMPORTANT THINGS
TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR MOTHER
Critical Health Questions To Ask Your Mother
(Or Daughters, Grandmothers, Sisters, Aunts,
or Any Other Women You Love!)
Adapted from My Mother, My Friend
by Mary Marcdante
One of the most significant insights I
had upon completing my mothers health history while writing My Mother, My Friend
was the pervasive theme throughout her life: illness was the status quo, punctuated with
moments of health. As I began to uncover how deeply rooted this belief has been in my own
mind, I was able to see how important it is to work every day at changing these messages
so that I have a healthier outcome that she did.
I hope that your situation is
different than mine was and that you and your mother are healthy and support each other in
staying healthy. If that is the case, congratulations! Keep doing what you're doing.
If you and/or your mother have health
challenges, remember it's NEVER too late to create better health! Every day that you are
breathing is an opportunity to improve your health, no matter how bad it seems or how much
pain you're in. The key is your willingness to change. All you have to do at first is BE
WILLING TO CHANGE. Your willingness opens your mind's door to positive possibility, which
is essential for self-motivation. Taking action is the final ingredient that will bring
you and your mother better health.
Before you talk with your mother, ask
yourself these questions and write the answers in your journal:
What are my beliefs about my health?
How has my mother influenced my
beliefs about health?
If I were in control of my
mothers health (which Im not), Id want her to:
What I most need to do to maintain
better health is:
When You Have Your Health, You Can Do
Living a healthy life for as long as were blessed to live is, to me, one of the
biggest challenges and greatest responsibilities we have as human beings. A mother in one
of my stress management seminars said it so clearly, I never thought about my health
until it was taken away. It wasnt until I had a heart attack that I realized I had
so much control over my own health. I started fighting like hell to live, and found a new
woman inside me strong, brave, and determined to get well. When you lose your
health, you lose everything. When you have your health, you can do anything.
Creating a health history with your mother is one of the
healthiest things you will do for both of you. Your mother may have filled out a similar
type of questionnaire to the one below for her doctor, but are you've never seen it, nor
did she keep a copy. Keep a copy! One day you'll be glad you did. Take the time now to
share your answers with each other. Even if some of the questions don't apply, talk about
what does. The more we share, the more we learn and can make healthier choices.
The questions below are set up in a worksheet format for
you to print out and use as a journal to ask and answer questions about your mother's and
your own health history.
Questions for Your Mom
Who is your doctor? What is his or her
phone number? Other doctors?
What is your health insurance company
and phone number? Your policy and ID number?
What medications are you taking now?
Are you allergic to any
medications? Which ones? ______________________
When was the last time you had a
HPV test - (human
papillomavirus - the cause of cervical cancer (for women 30+)
____ Bone density test?
____ Blood work?
____ Baseline hormone measurements?
When is your next doctor's appointment
I'd like to go with you and take notes. Would that be okay?____
Would you write a letter of
permission, giving me access to your health records if that
Tell me everything you know about your
health history, starting with your childhood.
Tell me everything about Dads. My grandparents' medical conditions? My childhood
Is there any history in our family of
(and if so, who?):
Addictions: Alcoholism?____ Cirrhosis of the Liver?____ Drug
Allergies: Asthma?____ Drug allergies?____ Food
Heart: High or low blood pressure?____ Heart Disease?____
Immune System: HIV?____ Candidiasis?____ Chronic
Lupus?____ Multiple Sclerosis?____
Mental Illness: Depression?____ Anxiety?____ Panic
Reproductive System: Gynecological problems?
Bladder infections?____ Fibroids?____ Ovarian cysts?____ Yeast
Breast cysts?____ Hysterectomy?____ Oophorectomy (ovaries removed)?____
Kidney stones?____ Heart Bypass?___
Obesity?____ Anorexia?____ Bulemia?____
you ever been to a therapist?____ Psychiatrist?____ What for?_________________
Taken anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication?____ Why? _____________________
Anyone else in the family? __________________________________________________
Have you ever felt suicidal?____ If so, what was going on in your life?____________________________________________________________
Would you like some help with meal
planning and food preparation?____
Are you taking any vitamins?____ Supplements?____
What are they and how many?_______________________________________________
For what symptoms?_______________________________________________________
What kind of exercise are you doing?
Would you like to work out a reasonable exercise plan with me?____
When did you start
menstruating?____ What were your periods like?________________
Did you ever have any PMS symptoms?_________________________________________
What did you do for
How did you learn about
Did you and your mother ever talk about it?_______________________________________
When did you start menopause?____
How old were you when you finished?____
What symptoms did you
Was it different than what you expected?_________________________________________
If you became seriously ill, how would
you me to respond?________________________
How would you like to be cared for if
you became seriously ill? _____________________
What concerns you the most about your
What's one thing you could do that
would help you feel healthier?______________________
anything I can do to help you be healthier?__________________________________
I'd appreciate you doing to help me be healthier is
2001-2013 Mary Marcdante. Feel free to make copies for you and your mom.
For more information or to share your stories and questions, contact
If you liked this article, sign up for
Mary's free monthly e-newsletter filled with insights, ideas, tips, and articles on how to
create inspired action every day. Your email address is kept confidential.
Click here for your free subscription.
Spread the word! If you'd like to
reprint this article in your newsletter, magazine, or any other publication, or link it to
your website, please click here for permission.
Top | Home | About Mary | Meeting Planners | Program Topics | Client List
Testimonials | My Mother, My Friend | Inspire
Yourself! | Links | Books & Tapes