Inspired Action eNews
May 12, 2005


"How you do anything is how you do everything." This idea has really gotten my attention. If you're dealing with anything in your life that you wish worked better for you this is a keeper concept to create more inspired action and results in your life.

My wish for you is that you'll discover at least one idea in this eNews that you will be inspired to act on within the next 24 hours that will fill you with a deep sense of joy and appreciation for your life and create more inspired results in your relationships and work.

Contents

7.  Favorite Inspired Action Quotes
8.  Win a Gift for Your Feedback

Be sure to add this email address to your safe senders list: mary@marymarcdante.com

1. WHY INSPIRED ACTION?

"How you do anything is how you do everything." I read this the other day in a newsletter and the words keep coming back to me so I assume I'm processing something really big. Kind of like when you can't get the words to a song out of your head and you wonder if it's your intuition calling or just another mindless cliché your mind attracted in an unaware moment.

In preparation for sending you this eNews, I incubate on ideas from the day the previous newsletter goes out. Much as I wish I'd do less procrastinating, which would lead to less stress and even better results, I've learned to accept that my Creative Muse shows up when she ready, and then I better be ready to put the petal to the metal to accommodate Her. She’s always on time – her time, and just at the 11th hour.

But now I’m ready to change this Creative Muse belief. It doesn’t work for me anymore; it’s an adrenaline and cortisol (stressful hormones) rush and I want an steady endorphin (pleasure hormone) rush before, not just during and after I take inspired action. Is there a belief you’d like to change? What could be better in your life? Whatever situation you choose, there's a belief that goes with it. Take a moment now and email your current challenge or belief for exploration and solutions in upcoming issues. Your name will remain anonymous unless you give me permission to use it. mary@marymarcdante.com (Remember, each belief you email counts as one entry in the next gift giveaway drawing.) Watch for the upcoming 21-Day Smile Diet Marathon and join me in changing a “Doesn’t-work-anymore” belief to a "Works-like-a-charm" belief.

What are your thoughts about yourself with regard to procrastination? I hate that I procrastinate and even more that I don't do anything about it even when it causes me so much stress.  I hate that it's so hard for me to ask for help and that I waste so much time trying to do everything myself. Whoa! Stop!

Whew! Were you thinking, "These comments are from a speaker and writer on inspirational thinking?! Is she really this negative in private? Why should I listen to her?"

I feel some trepidation in sharing my stream of consciousness “first-draft” thoughts in this eNews, but have decided it's more important to me to show you firsthand how our internal negative monologue eats away at taking inspired action. (See the December issue of Inspired Action on “The Discontented Brain.”)

No matter who you are and how much personal growth you've done until you make conscious your negative thinking, nothing can change. This is why journaling and  personal growth workshops are so valuable; written and verbal prompts and writing and verbalizing allow us to become more conscious and create new and more inspired results in our lives.  I haven’t met anyone yet who has said, “Whoa, stop, Mary. Too much inspiration and appreciation in this brain (home, family, office, company, community, or world).

According to researcher Shad Helmstetter, PhD, author of the best-selling “The Self-Talk Solution” over 75% of what we think about on a daily basis is negative – 75%!!! And we wonder why we’re in deep doodoo all around the world? How do we turn that around?

You and I both know negative thinking isn't going to inspire positive action, but just because we know that doesn’t mean it’s going to go away or turn into positive thinking. Negative thinking is like spyware running in our computer. Without us noticing, it slows our inspired action down and controls our thoughts that turn into beliefs that become clichés that run around in our mind until we consciously replace them with thoughts that serve us better. The first step to inspired action is consciously choosing to notice what you say you "hate" or complain about and shift as quickly as possible to answering the question, "What do I want?" with the words "AND (not "but") WHAT I WANT IS _________ (fill in the blank) AND HOW I WANT TO FEEL IS _________(fill in the blank).

My invitation and challenge to you is to notice one negative thought you have over the next 21 days and every time you notice it, ask and answer this question, "What DO I really want and how do I want to FEEL?" 

It’s a big question. So right now I'll stop, take a deep breath, take another, and then smile a 16-second smile, relax into my chair, and answer the question. I invite you to do the same thing now. What do you really want and how do you want to feel?

A personal growth workshop I attended a few months ago (Journey of Power with James Ray) included a session where we were asked, "What do you really really want?" [So let me ask you that now and write it down while you're at it. The majority of answers in the group of 100 people aged 13 to 70 ranged from more freedom to more money, more success, more love, a bigger home, a new car, or more time. Each time James said, "That's not what you really really want is it? What will that get you?"

As the first person announced what they really really wanted - their core “desire” (a more appealing word to the brain than "want") - it was almost always one or all of these qualities we all wanted to feel: joy, freedom, love.

If you distilled your wants/desires down to their essence, what is it that you most want/desire to feel? Once you identify that feeling it's much easier to stop yourself throughout your day and check in, "Is what I'm thinking and/or doing right now allowing me to feel the way I want to feel (joy, freedom, love, etc)?

If your answer is yes, by all means keep doing what you're doing and perhaps even add more OOMPH (conscious focus of positive emotional energy) to what you're doing to intensify the positive feeling.

If your answer is no, your thinking and/or actions are not helping you feel the way you want to feel, so...you know the question to ask: "What thought or action can I take right now to inspire the feelings I want to feel?" 

Let me hear from you. Email me at mary@marymarcdante.com

Here are five ways I take inspired action in the moment in less than 3 minutes when I’m working at my desk:

 

  1. Get up and move - get a glass of water, do 10 yoga sun salutations, dance to one song, laugh for 30 seconds.

  2. Turn on one of your favorite pieces of music and really listen to one song with your eyes closed (or open and looking at a relaxing screensaver) while focusing on long, deep inhalations expanding down to to your lower abdomen and then longer exhalations while contracting your lower abdomen.

  3. Do a 60-second gratitude meditation with the words "Thank you, thank you, thank you" and watch what bubbles up. Or say to yourself, "Thank you for..." and fill in the blank 10 times. If you keep your eyes open, just look around and give thanks for all that is around you and brought you to this moment. If your eyes are closed, let your mind wander to the people, things, experiences from your past that you're grateful for. Breathe with a smile.

  4. Call a colleague, client or friend who is a positive force in your life (not a whiner or critical person from whom you want approval) and express a 60-second appreciation. Leave a message or if they answer their phone, just say, "I'm taking just a 60-second break, and wanted to call and tell you how glad I am you're in my life because I am inspired when I think of you. Thank you." Let them respond and if they need or want to talk, let them until they finish (Appreciative Communication 101). When they're done with their first response (hopefully a sound bite of 30-60 seconds), tell them you would love to have a longer conversation and ask to schedule another time to talk.

  5. Write in your computer journal or hand write on a blank 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper with your nondominant hand twenty one answers to this question: What can I do right now or in the next few hours (or after work or tomorrow or this weekend or this month) that will inspire me to an action that will bring me closer to how I really want to feel (joyful, free, loving, loved, grateful, etc)? Number the page before you start and keep going until you reach 21. If you can't think of 21, give yourself permission to get outrageous and/or keep writing the one that calls to you over and over.

What do you do to get into inspired action? Which tip did you find most valuable? If you use one of these tips and get inspired results, I’d love to hear from you and will post answers in the next newsletter. Remember anyone who emails me with a comment is entered into a drawing for a free audiotape or book from my personal library. Email me at mary@MaryMarcdante.com.
 

Have a question about how to stay inspired? Email me at mary@marymarcdante.com

A woman whose young adult son committed suicide eight months ago asked me, "What do you do when you have such a huge loss that your grief overwhelms you and no matter how hard you try you just don't feel any enthusiasm and can't get inspired?"

Oh my...my heart goes out to her and anyone who faces such an incredible loss of a child or other loved one. Everything I've ever learned about grief is that healing takes time and everyone's timeline and needs are different.

To help answer this question, I talked with my friend Ken Druck who is a gifted teacher and healer and founder of The Jenna Druck Foundation and "Families Helping Families," which he started in response to the loss of his 21 year old daughter Jenna. Ken's response is applicable to anyone dealing with the pain of loss and grief.

"Pain is choiceless. It’s part of what we risk when we open our hearts to another human being and it’s what we must risk. We learn how to understand, live with and modulate the pain by what we do that helps us and what we do that makes it harder.

"When we lose a loved one to suicide we put ourselves on trial and prosecute ourselves for what we did or didn’t do. It’s never constructive to do this. Find constructive outlets for that pain; destructive outlets include numbing by drinking, eating, busying it away; all these attempts never work. Like a shard of glass, grief needs to work it’s way out of your system in its own time and way.

"If we look for the old enthusiasm and we’re measuring enthusiasm or peace or anything on the old standard of our life before the death we will always be disappointed. The enthusiasm, sense of purpose or peace we have now is a more mature enthusiasm, purpose, and peace that incorporates the suffering elements of life and the loss of life but it is a deeper, richer mine to harvest; it’s a deeper richer place from which we can grow even closer to the people we love including our angels.

"For people who are just struggling, who are gasping for air, for whom grief is overwhelming, they need first of all to elicit the support of others. They need to reach out. Help is a four letter word that needs to be utilized in grief. We don’t get through this alone. We need to reach out for help. Our slogan for 'Families Helping Families' is 'Hope loves company.'"

"If your grief is overwhelming you and paralyzing and immobilizing you there are any number of strategies from trauma therapies that help us deal with the trauma of sudden loss to exercise programs that get us out and moving our limbs, nutrition programs, support groups where we meet with and are bonded by our common losses. For some people going on a short term regimen of medication to take the sharp edge off their pain helps. Their disabling pain allows their systems to recover and fight back. It could be a faith based program where people are allowed to wrestle and struggle with the spiritual crisis element of losing their child as in 'How could God let this happen?' It’s different for everyone but each one of us needs to find out and create a program that works for us.

Thank you Ken. For more information, visit www.jennadruck.org
 
4. MM UPDATE

Celebrate with me! I've just graduated from the six month "Authentic Happiness Coaching Program" led by Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and Authentic Happiness, and the leading Positive Psychology researcher in the U.S.

It's been one of the most gratifying learning experiences I've had both personally and professionally. The program has validated and expanded, through a growing body of research and tools, what we intuitively know but often invalidate or don't act on until research-proven: Having a happiness plan is good for business and good for your health. Focused positive thinking (gratitude and appreciation, compassion, etc.) and actions decrease negative results and create and increase life satisfaction, health, mutually supportive relationships, productivity, purpose, and all things good. Watch for upcoming new programs, coaching, and eNews I'll be offering that highlights what I've learned.

In our last class Dr. Seligman announced that they're very close to releasing new data that shows that simply by using the personal growth and stress management activities on his website on a regular basis that depression can be lessened as effectively as anti-depressants. This is a HUGE BREAKTHROUGH! Watch for more information in my next newsletter or sign up for a monthly subscription at ReflectiveHappiness.com. I highly recommend his new website and encourage you to take the fre*e VIA Strengths Survey he offers online.

SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS
It's been a blessed Spring with new and repeat clients including The Speaker's Network, Darcy's Hot Topics, Associated General Contractors of America, Jenna Druck Foundation, Raleigh Chamber of Commerce, Mercy Health System, Iowa Health System, and Sempra Utilities. I am so grateful for all the amazing and generous people who put these meetings together and the participants who attend my programs. Thank you!

If your organization is having a meeting in 2005 or 2006 (Women's Health Conference, Nurse/Staff/Customer Appreciation, Communication Training, Mother/Daughter Tea, Heart/Cancer Awareness), I'd be honored to speak to your organization. My interactive and energizing keynotes or workshops include:

* I'm So Glad You Asked: 7 Ways to Build Stronger Relationships Through Appreciative Communication

* Let Your Laughing Heart Lead the Way (join me for a 30-second laugh break right now :-)

* Turn Stress into Success with the 21-Day Smile Diet.

* My Mother, My Friend: The Ten Most Important Things to Talk About with Your Mother

* For additional program ideas and topics, and to listen to a program excerpt, go to www.marymarcdante.com or call me directly at (888) 600-3421. If you are not a meeting planner, I'd be so grateful if you'd forward this email to the person who does plan your meetings.

COACHING
If you're interested in bringing more daily joy into your life or moving through a change with more support and don't know where to start, learn more about my once-a-week 12-week individual telecoaching sessions to help you stay in Inspired Action. Email me if you'd like more information. mary@marymarcdante.com

 "My heart is bursting with gratitude at the strides we have made together. I am especially proud of my last speech and would like to tell you what it was like for me to transition from absolute FEAR to LOVE and into a heartfelt conversation that changed my world."
~ Jennifer Bailey, EmpoweringWomen.cc

5. REVIEWS AND RECOMMENDATIONS: INSPIRED BOOKS, MUSIC, MOVIES, WEBSITES, COOL GIFTS

SPECIAL OFFER

Through May 31, 2005 when you order a soft-cover copy of Living with Enthusiasm you’ll also receive a FR*EE copy of the new e-book version Living with Enthusiasm that you can read right at your desk or print chapters or pages at your convenience. Makes a great Graduation or birthday gift as well as a daily self-care journal. Order now.

 Watch for the upcoming new and expanded "Living with Enthusiasm Guidebook and Journal," a 9-month self-study program guaranteed to add more smiles and joyful inspired action and results to your daily life.

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

WEBSITE
I love doing yoga. If you're looking for a quick way to find out more go to www.Best-Yoga-Sites.com

MUSIC
One of my favorite instrumental new age CDs that I reach for when I want quiet time while walking or sitting in meditation or taking a nap that gives my mind permission to explore new possibilities and think bigger is Path: An Ambient Journey from Windham Hill. It includes various artists. One of my favorite songs: Lydia. So soothing. Makes you want to sigh, so you do and feel a little better.

BOOK
 Walking in the World: The Practical Art of Creativity by Julia Cameron

If you were one of the fortunate ones who read The Artist’s Way, you’ll really appreciate this book. She reinforces through the metaphor of walking that everyone has an artist within that longs to be expressed in whatever work or play you do. Here’s one of my favorite passages for Inspired Action:

“I hate to say this but making art is a little like dieting. One day you just have to start and what you do that day is the beginning of success or failure. I cannot write an entire book today, but I can write one page. I cannot become an accomplished pianist but I can put in fifteen minutes of piano time. Today you may not get a one-woman show in SoHo, but you can sketch the battered leather chair with your cocker spaniel sprawled in splendid comfort or you can sketch the curve of your lovers’ arm. You can begin.”

6. FEEDBACK WINNER

 Thank you for your ideas, comments and questions. I love hearing from you. For every email I receive from you with comments, suggestions, questions, or ideas for this newsletter, your name is entered in a feedback drawing for a free audio program or book from my personal library with every issue.

Check this section in each newsletter to see if you've won. Email me with your street address and we'll send your gift immediately.

Thank you Serena Atkinson for answering the question from my last newsletter on what makes your heart sing. You’ll receive a free copy of my book Living with Enthusiasm: How the 21-Day Smile Diet Can Change Your Life and the 6-cassette audio program, "Two Minute Miracles: Everyday Habits to Build Self-Esteem for Life" by Carol Price and Delynn Copley

What Makes My Heart Sing?
by Serena Atkinson

 Well, lots of things. Not so many lately since I have had chronic low back pain for a few years.

My heart sings the minute I wake up, to know I am alive and able to get out of bed. I work at Sharp Memorial so I see a lot of young disabled people not able to walk or get out of bed themselves.

My heart sings when I wake up in the AM to see my doggie Monte searching. For my face to lick. Good way to wake up, slurp, slurp.

My heart sings through out the day knowing I am able to make someone's day better by simply treating them kindly when they come in for treatment.

My heart sings everyday at noon when I go for my walk at lunch, the flowers, trees, bugs, birds, blue sky, sun all are marvelous.

My heart sings every single time I think about how much I am loved by many wonderful people. They love me even when I am grouchy from my chronic pain.

My heart sings knowing I will leave a part of me behind once I am gone. I know deep in my heart that I have made a difference in at least a few peoples lives by being me and existing happily.

Thank you Serena!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your feedback is encouraged and rewarded. I love hearing from you. For each email you submit with a comment, suggestion, idea, review of a product you purchased, or a question you’d like answered, or answer to a question I’ve asked in this newsletter you will be entered into a drawing to win a book or audio program from my library.
 

7. FAVORITE INSPIRED ACTION QUOTES

 "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." ~ Patanjali (c. 1st to 3rd century BC

And more simply said,

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong." ~ Ella Fitzgerald

“Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.” ~ Corita Kent
 
8. WIN A GIFT FOR YOUR FEEDBACK

I always enjoy hearing from you. Please let me know what you like best in this e-newsletter and what I can add or change (or delete) to make it work better for you. Remember, every email comment or question counts for one entry in our monthly feedback drawing for inspiring books and tapes and you're helping me learn and grow, which I deeply appreciate.

 Inspired by your presence,

 Mary

Mary Marcdante
Speaker, Author, Facilitator, Coach
Helping People Stay Inspired and Healthy in a Changing World
PO Box 2529 Del Mar, CA 92014
(858) 792-6786
mary@marymarcdante.com
www.marymarcdante.com

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Thank you. Appreciation can heal the world.